WHAT ITS LIKE BEING A DOG OWNER

From a young age I understood that my career is going to take front center while marriage and children will be later in life. I always wanted to establish myself as an individual prior to having kids. By the age of 24 I graduated University and decided to take couple of years off before entering masters program in order to pay off my student debt. During the time off I saw mostly all my friends get married start a family. My fiance and I knew that we were not emotionally, physically, mentally or financially ready to start a family and have kids so we decided to hold off on that idea and instead get a puppy. It has been a year of us being a proud owner to a miniature poodle, I couldn't be more happier with the decision we made. Having  a puppy before children showed us what hard work and dedication is needed to raise someone.  Just as children puppies require A LOT of attention and well structured day. Our puppy from day one was put on a strict schedule, and diet. We taught her tricks, and how  to behave when people come over. We showered her with lots of love, and care. Most of our friends with children do not understand that our puppy is our child, that we dedicated and still dedicate a lot of time into raising her. Whenever we go out we constantly think of her being lonely, and upset without us. She is constantly in our mind, we know we have to walk her, bath her, feed her. Unlike kids when they grow up they can do things for themselves, such as eat, play, use the bathroom, this wonderful creature depends on us fully till the day she goes on to a better place. Some of our friends look down on us for waiting this long to have kids, some say that ITS A DOG not a kid she will be fine.  What most parents of human children need to understand is that she is our kid, we worry about her just like they worry about their kids. We worry that she might ran away, we stay up at nights with her when she feels bad,  upset, we need to constantly cater to her needs. Just like human children she needs care around the clock, we also need to make arrangement when we decide to go somewhere on a vacation. Having a dog taught us true meaning of love, she is a lovable creature, who is very loyal and sits and waits for our arrival everyday home. She brings us brightness on a very dark days, she comforts us when we are upset, she licks us when we are sick. To all the people with children who look down on us, and say that she is not a kid and she can stay home by herself for long periods of times- realize one thing that she depends on us, she gets upset when we are not around, she requires a lot of attention, affection and dedication. I know one day  my fiance and I will want to have children, but she will always be our first kid.

SUMMER SALAD

Amazing Summer Salad

1. Lettuce
2. Tomatoes
3. Avocado
4. Cheese ( Mexican)
5. Blueberries
6. Watermelon
7. Strawberries
8. Grilled Chicken

ALL ABOUT CAITLYN JENNER

I would like to start this entry by saying that this is my opinion feel free to disagree with me by commenting on the bottom of this blog.

Mrs. Caitlyn Jenner is beautiful not doubt about that, she is a very strong, independent female. What Caitlyn did is very impressive, it took a lot of guts, strength to show the world who she truly is and has been for her entire life. I myself can't imagine living a lie of who I am my entire life. After 65 years of living with a secret she finally came out and introduced herself to the world, we the world learned what color she likes for her toe nails, what she likes to wear, how she likes to design her house etc. We can all agree that she found the strength within herself to come out after all this years. However; we need to pause for a second and think of all of whom she lied to, and deceived. For 65 years Mrs. Jenner was a role model not only for her own children but for many children in the World. Kids all over the world looked up to her for being an Olympian. During that era she demonstrated her physical strength, she reached what many people were to think impossible-she received the highest honor that anyone could get she was the best of the best. But now it seems like it was a lie, if she truly felt that she was a woman her entire life then she shouldn't have participate with the man in the Olympics but rather with woman, she birth kids as a man not as a woman. She not only lied to her wives and kids but to the entire world. Under false pretenses she won the Olympic medal, under falls pretenses she raised her kids. How is her wives who are heterosexual and had children with her suppose to feel now, how are her kids suppose to feel now, how is the rest of the world suppose to feel? We as a society including myself are very proud of her accomplishments of her coming out but we are forgetting one thing, she has a family, kids, wives who lived in a lie. The dad that once taught his boys how to shave, drive a car wasn't a man but a woman. The dad that talked to his boys about girls wasn't a man but a woman. The man who her kids confined in wasn't a man but a woman, the role model that many boys looked up to wasn't a man but was a woman. It took strength to come out but it is was also very selfish. She felt like she needed to come out. But.. how did her kids feel? wive? everyone around? It shouldn't have been done public. Mrs. Kris Jenner who fell in love with this masculine man who she spend 25+ years with him learned that he wasn't a man but a woman. Kris who is a heterosexual woman was lied to, was deceived. How is she suppose to feel? Her entire life was a lie she slept in a bed with a person who she taught was a man and not a woman, the younger two kids were not mentally ready for such a shock of a life time. And now Mrs. Jenner is receiving an award for being courage's? Displaying courage means that you have demonstrated an ability that not many can do. Fire fighters display courage, police man display courage, those who put their lives on the line to protect society display courage they are the ones who should be receiving this award, not someone who one day woke up and said I can't live with this lie anymore, not someone who was selfish enough to live her  entire life as a man, have bunch of kids as a man, not someone who deceived not only her family but the entire world. We as a society should award those who are truly displaying a courage not someone who is selfish. Caitlyn did not feel guilty when she married heterosexual women knowing that she was a female in her heart, she was bringing kids into this world and raising them as a man knowing that she was a woman. What Caitlyn displayed is typical selfish behavior she shouldn't be awarded for courage. Her behavior should be frowned upon. I understand it was hard for her to live with a lie, but now her kids have to deal with the consequences. Caitlyn is selfish, person who is only thinking of her self. If she choice to have a family and live as man she should have thought of them prior to coming out. Caitlyn all her life demonstrated cowardly behavior towards her family, friends and the world.

Transition into Adulthood

I grew up in a household where my family constantly yelled, screamed, and cursed at one another. My home wasn’t the ideal environment for a child; my parents were constantly fighting over money. I lived in constant fear of moving the wrong way, or saying the wrong things because I wanted to avoid aggravating my parents. My afternoons consisted of sitting in my room for hours listening to my parents curse in Russian at each other.I would often find myself sitting on a stairwell next to our house crying when the fights would get to extreme. During the fights I couldn’t concentrate on my school work, my friends, or other activities. I was emotionally traumatized, and did not have anyone to talk to. My parents would often say to me "you shouldn’t bring the skeletons out of the closet," I listened. My grandparents knew what was going on, yet they didn’t want to interfere. My grandparents refused to act because they thought interfering would trigger a divorce.  Some nights I would lay in my bed imagining that I was a member of the Brady Bunch family. I desperately wanted everything to go away, I craved a happy family. It was embarrassing to go outside because people would point fingers and say,“that’s the kid from apartment three o three". The environment that I grew up in left a long lasting unsavory imprint in my adulthood.  When I was eighteen, I was afraid of confrontation. I couldn’t speak my mind, the sound cursing made my stomach curdle. I put myself into isolationto avoid interactingwith society because I believed the world worked like that. The isolation continued until I was twenty one. At age twenty one, I moved out of my parents’ house.My departure granted me the freedom to explore life without having to constantly listen to the sound of my parent’s arguments due. My newly discovered freedom, I became more social and started dating. I was so antisocial that I didn’t know how to have a good relationship with the opposite sex. I believed yelling and screaming was normal, and that every relationship was based on that flawed principle. My parents would often tell me when I was growing up,“if people do not yell and scream at each other it meant that they are indifferent towards each other".  I bought into the mentality that my parents instilled in me. Unfortunately I found myself fighting with all my boyfriends, and even my own friends. People had a hard time understanding where such hatred and frustration came from. The fighting became so extreme between my boyfriends and friends that I lost most of them. After having lost all my friends, I slipped into a deep depression. I seriously began to evaluate the moments that had led up to that moment in my life. I seriously reflected on my past, and realized that what my parents put me through as a child had a huge impact on my adulthood. It took me several years to realize why every single person in my life had left me. I understood that it wasn’t normal to fight, yell, and scold  people.. A child needs a calm, nurturing environment to grow up in. To all the parents out there that are constantly fighting in front of kids, make sure to tell your children that it isn't how the world is; it isn't how a relationship between parents should be. Please teach your kids that shouting and cursing isn’t the proper way to resolve conflicts. Children that bear witness to constant fighting can make them grow up emotionally traumatized. When someone grows up emotionally traumatized it’s very difficult  for them to adapt in  society. 

Bullies

Growing up I was bullied, I was bullied because I was not skinny enough, have the perfect skin, teeth and so on. Kids laughed at me, spit in my face in front of others, told me I smelled, did not want to sit next to me on a school bus. I did not have many friends growing up. Those friends that I had talked behind my back, spread rumors, or used me. Boys would not give me a time of day. Many nights I cried myself to sleep. By age 14 I felt as I was alone, with no one to talk to or confine in. I did not know how to express myself to my parents, I did not know if they would understand me or not or how they could help. Year went by of me crying, feeling alone, depressed. At age 15 I decided to take matters into my own hands, I was tired of being bullied and decided to change my appearance. I thought changing my appearance would help me become more socially accepted; I began to lose weight, started using various of products to get rid of my skin problem. I truly believed in my heart if my physical appearance would change people would perceive me differently  and I would be more socially accepted however, getting rid of what  I thought is keeping me away from the society did not help the feeling of being alone go away. By age of 18 I wanted to be accepted so much that I got in with a wrong crowd which led to very bad consequences. After those consequences I realized that it is not what you look like, but it is what you can accomplish in life, what kind of imprint you can leave in this world, what benefit you can bring to the society. To all the girls and boys that are going through what I went through do not change yourself, do not think that if you will change your appearance or act a certain way people will start being nicer to you, or more approving.  You do not need anyone's approval but your own. In your life you will find bullies all around be it in the work place, school, or even your own family. People who bully have issues of their own, and they bully to make themselves feel better. No one is worth your tears, we are all unique. Don't let others tell you otherwise. To all the teenagers that are going through this stage keep your head high, it doesn't matter what your classmates think of you, it doesn't matter what your friends think of you. WHAT MATTERS IS, IS WHAT YOU THINK OF YOURSELF AND BE THE BEST YOU CAN BE FOR YOURSELF. Get up every morning look in the mirror and say to yourself, this is who I am if those people can't accept me for who I am than they are not worth being in my life.